In the Israelite culture, a man was to give a dowry to the father of the woman he wished to marry. There is no law in the Torah instructing that a dowry had to be made. Although one could argue, it is implied. The law only stepped in concerning a bride-price when something went wrong such as in the case of seduction or rape as explained in Exodus 22:16-17 & Deuteronomy 22:28-29. In the case of Deuteronomy 22:28-29, the law stipulated that a man was to provide the bride-price or “dowry of virgins” to the father as if the woman were still a virgin. Exodus 22:16-17 even explains that when a father refused to give his daughter in marriage to the man who seduced his daughter, the man still had to pay the bride-price.

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There is also no command in the Torah that says a man or a woman needed to have their fathers’ permission to marry. The path to marriage actually varies greatly within the biblical text. At times, however, the father was heavily involved. For example, with God’s help, Abraham uses a servant to find a wife for his son Isaac (Genesis 24). Rebekah was found, and although Abraham and God give Rebekah the liberty to say no to the situation, Rebekah’s mother and brother only ask her permission later in the hope of a negative response, realizing they will miss her.

 

In another situation, Laban (Rebekah’s brother and Jacob’s uncle) sells his daughters Rachel and Leah to Jacob (Genesis 29). The daughters make it clear they are disgusted by Laban’s treatment of them (Genesis 31:14–16). Concerning the law, a father could refuse his daughter’s marriage, particularly if a man took his daughter’s virginity prior to the marriage through enticement (Exodus 22:16–17). At other times, the father was not involved, nor was it the man who took the initiative. This was how it was in the case of Ruth, a Moabite (descendant of Lot), and Boaz who was David’s ancestor. By way of her mother-in-law’s instructions, Ruth willingly initiates the suggestion of marriage to Boaz (Ruth 3:9). In addition, Song of Solomon makes it quite clear that when it came to tying the knot, there was some aspect of a woman’s interest, consent, and, of course, that all-important thing called love.